Vows
by theowlinsomniac
Summary: "Are you alright, Lieutenant?" "Yes, I'm fine." "Don't lie to me, Hawkeye." "I'm not."


Royai  
(No they do not get married but the topic is brought up.)  
Roy and Riza take a visit to the Elric's to see how their family is growing, and Riza has doubts about her own future.  
Inspired by art~

* * *

She blinked once and the pain in her abdomen returned. Twice and the image of a child was in her arms. Three times, and his tears were staining her hands like water colors. Bright and red. Blood and purple rain slipping between her fingers.

"Are you alright, Lieutenant?" she heard. Her head turned, fluttering lashes blinded her, tears seared her eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine." It felt natural to call him 'sir', but after their visit with the Elrics she couldn't bring herself to formalities.

"Don't lie to me, Hawkeye." her eyes trailed back to the road ahead of them, her hands clasped in her lap.

"I'm not." she breathed, the grass passing their car so fast that it turned everything into a blur.

_"You can hold her if you'd like," the blonde had said, handing the tiny little girl to Riza. The Lieutenant smiled and held her closely, bobbing her up and down to make her smile. Ed and Winry were so young. What if she never got to have this?  
She looked over to Roy, whose arm was lingering on her waist, and the other tugging at the little boy's leg playfully. _

_She could faintly hear Edward teasing Roy.  
"So when are you guys gonna have kids?" she ignored him and Roy's flustered response. Winry just smiled and watched Riza tickle her daughter with a wide smile._

The pain was back. Her stomach ached in yearning. How she wanted that life. She wanted the warmth of a family. She avoided Mustang's hollow gaze and turned her head away from him so that her nose grazed the frigid window.

"Look… Riza," her stomach flipped when he said her name. His voice was low, and she knew what he was going to say as soon as she heard his intake of breath.

"Don't." she commanded, closing her eyes, letting her arms wrap around her own waist. She felt the car slowing. They were no where close to her… their, home. She flinched, feeling the car stop all the way and finally fought to look at him. Her heart shattered when she saw his solemn face.

"I made you a promise, and dammit I'm going to keep it." he said with a raised voice. She gasped, tensed by his outburst.

"What are you talking about, sir?" she said, hoping he knew that she was in no mood to speak about their personal life at this time. It was forbidden anyways.

"One day I swear, I'm going to marry you. Riza Hawkeye I'm going to make you my wife, and one day we're going to have that." And then the tears came. His hand was immediately on her cheek.

"We can't have that, Roy." she breathed, salty tears drowning on her lips. In a moment he tasted them too, shaking hands on her knee.

His forehead rested on hers and he sighed. Heavy breathing. She couldn't breathe.

"Yes we can.." he pleaded.

"Go out and live your life Roy… I'll always be here, but I can't be what you want. I can't give you what you want." she whispered, cupping his chin in her palms, rising up and kissing the peak of his head.

"You don't get it, do you?" he sat up, his grey eyes boring into her. "**You** are everything I want… I just want to make you happy. And you were so happy back there." His speech caused another fit of sobbing on her part.

"I've always wanted that." she sputtered. "I never had a family like that. I want to give back what was taken from me." she confessed. Roy's eyes softened, and he rushed forward, burying his face in her shoulder, his arms squeezing her around the stomach. The awkward car space made her uncomfortable, but it felt nice to feel his warmth again.

"I want to give you that." he whispered, muffled by her sweater.

"It's just not fair…" Riza reached up and ran her fingers through his shadowy hair. She left her hand atop his head, and let the other stroke the side of his neck, very quietly. She wanted to fall asleep here, like this. Aching from the metal car parts and aching from his uncultured love.

They remained the same for several minutes that seemed like hours on end. When he finally moved, he let his lips trail on her collar, and let his eyes wander about her. Letting her image soak into his mind. She felt his disappointment. She knew he wanted them too.. children. He wanted to be the father he never got. She wanted to be the mother that she lost. What an odd pair.

He straightened in the seat, and shifted gears, starting the car again.

"I promise you, Lieutenant." he said, just loud enough for him to hear her. "You deserve it."

She smiled at his vow, and adjusted herself in her seat to avoid his eyes again. She couldn't have children. She couldn't have a family. Riza broke down and looked at him, smirking at his determined glare. Maybe they could be a family. Just the two of them. He was her family.  
Riza Mustang. She liked the sound of that.


End file.
